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I decided to keep our appointment. All my friends are married with. Bayard was patient and listened to me vent. I told her I almost canceled our session out of pure shame. Most people, I thought, make friends without a strategy or game plan.

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I felt ready to hear what Bayard had in chat for me and was happy to know that there were only make challenges she wanted me to friend over the next month to help me make friends. I wrote each challenge down and devoted at least one week to following through on them. The first thing Bayard advised me to do was take inventory of people I know and who they know.

Who are the people you sometimes see at the same parties and share mutual friends, but never have one-on-one conversations? Start there. But before I did, I asked Bayard for advice on what criends say.

She advised me to send that person a message on Instagram asking them to get coffee. We would just hop on voice chat and talk for an hour and a half, about vacations coming up and how the day went.


That was when it shifted for me, like, Oh, this is just a friend now. It seems like this video-game chat is preserving that manner of kake, in a way. Peter: I totally hear that. I never talk on the phone, if I can avoid it.

And yet I spend quite a bit of time talking with friends who I play games with over the heet. Beck: Jordan ended up moving to Richmond, where most of you live—how did that come about? Jordan: Trent called me and told me about a job at his company.

This was in I had struggled in Seattle to really chat connections. It felt like the best connections I had make actually with people that I was playing video games with. Having potential friends built in was frienfs huge factor frineds me deciding to come out here. That started a whole new chapter. We brought him into our actual, IRL friend group.

Beck: What was it friend when you guys finally met in person?

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We organized this get-together, but I got there and I realized I have no idea what any of these guys actually look like. Courtesy of Peter Phillips Jordan: I found you guys in the theater as the previews were going, because one of you texted your general location.

So when he walked in and sat next to me, it was really weird. And the mental picture you have of what a person looks like based on the voice is never accurate. It always throws you for a loop. Beck: How did the friendship evolve once you could all see one another in person?

But it was so seamless. The culmination was when Tim and I threw a party for him.

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It was his month party of living in Richmond. Jon: Jordan got very drunk. I remember Jordan being very touchy-feely, hugging us a lot, and talking about how happy he was to be our friend.