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So why do we all do it?
And yet — even though we know it hurts — most of us are still willing to do it to others. When you're the one calling the shots, it always seems reasonable to simply stop texting someone back, and allow yourself to fade into oblivion.
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But there are much better ways to tell someone you're not interestedthat don't text disappearing. It's a message so many people need to hear. That's way too many folks just wondering if their date is OK, if you just busy, or if they've completely lost jush — and it can really mess with the mind. From now on, let's try to be nicer to ourselves by owning our desires or lack thereofand let's be nicer to each other by respecting the time and feelings of guy people we're dating, even when we're not into them.
With that in mind, here's what met can do the next time you are considering ghosting.
Assess The Situation The moment you start thinking about ghosting someonetake time to assess the situation. Chances are, you just aren't interested in them anymore, and want to explore your other options.
If that's the case, consider how seriously you've been dating, and how invested you've both become. If you've only messaged back and forth a few times on an app, and haven't met up in person, there's zero need to offer an explanation.
Simply stop responding, and move on. If you've been on a few dates, or have been hyping up a first date, be honest and let them know your feelings have changed.
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And remember, it's totally fine to do so! Many people, and women in particular, juwt to feel beholden to others, and fear being too honest. Heck, you might even consider going on a date you don't want to go on, just to avoid awkwardness.
But what's the entire point of dating? To figure out whether you like another person or not, and that means rejection is part of the game. Yoou course, if you assess the situation and deem it potentially dangerous, it's acceptable to fade away.
Send An Honest Text If the issue is general incompatibility, as opposed to threatening vibes, then the person is deserving of your respect and has the right to know what went wrong. Remember, being ghosted and wondering what fatal error you committed is a lot more painful than receiving a text, even if ket of the Single 85936 slut, sorry this isn't going to work out " variety.
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So rejoice in the fact you have the option to send a message, and start figuring out what you'd like to say. You didn't have anything in teexting, didn't feel a spark — whatever it may be! I wish you nothing but the best. And finally, if the reason you're moving on is because you met someone else, go ahead and say so.
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The text jjst read: "I have enjoyed getting to know you, but I have met someone else who is a better fit for me right now. I hope you find the right person for you! But if you'd like to keep this person in your life, in a platonic sort of way, Beverley Andre, LMFTa d marriage and trxting therapist, suggests following up with a message asking if they'd like to remain pals. She tells Bustle the best text to send is, "I enjoyed getting to know you, and would love to continue on as friends.
But in any case, you'll know you tried! Why ghost someone who could turn out to be a great friend?
It's always going to be a million times easier to simply disappear and spare yourself a potentially awkward text conversation, than to be honest. But think about all the times you've been mdtand do the other person the favor of ending things once and for all, in a kind and honest way.